Bridezilla, Begone!  6 Ways to Banish Wedding Stress | The Top Knotters
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Bridezilla, Begone!  6 Ways to Banish Wedding Stress

Everybody knows that the bride is always the most beautiful person in the room.

Maybe it’s the excitement of starting a new chapter of her life that brings an undeniable glow to her face.  But we also know that planning a wedding can be incredibly stressful—so much so that some blushing brides have been spotted transforming into a bridezilla instead!

The bridezilla is not an urban legend.  She is real and can sneak up on you when you least expect it.  So we asked married couples, especially brides, for advice on how to keep their inner monsters at bay on their big day.

wedding in bali, karen & fiel, mayad studios

Get that natural bridal glow! Photo by Mayad Studios.

6 Ways to Keep Your Inner Bridezilla at Bay

1. Get a good wedding planner!

This is, hands-down, the most popular advice from wed couples.  Wedding planners will free you from the details of following up suppliers, especially on your big day.  There are also plenty of options to choose from so it can be easy to get one, no matter what your budget.  And once you do get planners, learn to delegate and trust them!

“I would say get a trustworthy team who knows you well so they would oversee things the way you and your husband would.” – Dessie, married in 2013

“If you have a planner and are having trouble sleeping the night before your wedding, ask them to assure you that everything is already set.  Assurance might help a bit.” – MP, married in 2012

2. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

punta fuego, seaside romance, myio okamoto

Details? Let others handle it! Styling by Tipping Point Collective. Photo by Myio Okamoto.

This is the first and only time you’ll ever get married—which means you’re not an expert.  Even if you have the best suppliers, there’s still a chance not everything will be PERFECT.  But our brides are unanimous in saying, “Don’t sweat!” Just let go.

“If things don’t go as planned—like when the driver takes you to the reception instead of the church or if the priest leaves before telling the groom to kiss the bride—just let them be!  Always leave room to deviate from your plans.” – Clarissa, married in 2014

“Be mature enough to know when to let go and trust that, after all the planning, things just fall into place.” – Yve, married in 2011

“Choose to be happy and enjoy your day instead. I wont forget what our priest told us: The suppliers will have more weddings [and can improve on their mistakes], but we will only have one.” —Vanessa, married in 2015

“Your guests are not gonna be there to inspect the nitty gritty details of the wedding—they’re there to celebrate with you on your special day. Also, the day goes by so quickly—savor every minute of it!” – Justine, married in 2015

3. Wear comfy shoes—then kick them off later!

Pauleen Luna bridezilla

Go crazy–but only for the wacky shots! Photo by Metrophoto

Wearing painful shoes is a surefire way to trigger a bridezilla transformation in a matter of hours.  So if you absolutely have to wear the stilettos, break them in at least a month before the big day.  And if that still doesn’t work—just kick them off! We mean this both literally and figuratively.  Let loose, savor the moment, and decide to have fun, no matter what!

“Don’t think too much on your big day. Feel pretty inside and out! And please wear comfortable shoes! Mas madaling um-aura pag di masakit ang paa.” – Kates, married in 2016

“The wedding day will happen and before you know it, it’s over… So treasure every moment!  Basta, ako, I just kept on grinning that day! High lang ang peg!” – Erika, married

“I remember being stuck in EDSA traffic on the way to church but we laughed it off, turned up the radio and sang our hearts out. Arrived 5 mins before the ceremony. If I had stressed about the traffic then I wouldn’t look as happy as I was when I walked down the aisle.” – Marga, married

4. Keep in touch with your future spouse

calm vibe, anawangin prenup, oak st studios

How about a weekend getaway? Photo by Oak St. Studios.

It’s easy to get caught up in all the wedding preparations.  This is the day many of us have been looking forward to for our whole lives, after all!  But since you’re preparing for happily ever after with another person, it’s also important to not let the prep take over your relationship.  Remember to go on a date with your groom!  True love’s kiss will surely transform your bridezilla into a princess before the clock strikes twelve.

“Despite your hectic schedule due to wedding preps, take time to date your future hubby. Eat, laugh, and have fun! In that way, you will be relaxed and you’ll be more excited for the big day.” – Kates

“Communicate with your fiance! I wasn’t able to sleep before my wedding day because my husband was still out with the boys, his phone was turned off, and he arrived home at 4am. The wedding was at 8am. (Totoong it’s not the wedding that you have to prepare for—but life after! LOL.)” – Mia

5. Do whatever you need to relax

simply scintillating,solaire engagement session, icebox imaging

Curl up with a good book and a cup of coffee or two. Photo by Icebox Imaging.

We all have different ways of relaxing—for some, it’s getting a massage or hanging out with our closest friends on the day before the wedding.  For others, it’s reviewing the seat plan or keeping track of your budget.  In the end, you know yourself best so feel free to do whatever it takes to keep your nerves calm and bridezilla out of sight!

“Planning a wedding that’s beyond your means will surely cause unnecessary stress. So do not go into debt for a wedding!” – Rochelle, married”

“Planning a wedding that’s beyond your means will surely cause unnecessary stress. So do not go into debt for a wedding!” - Rochelle, marriedClick To Tweet

“I find it helps to be organized and to keep track of my budget, schedules, etc. So when I was frazzled during preparations, I just referred to my Excel file to check what things need to be done.” – Vanessa

“I asked one of the coordinators to be near me during my wedding day.  So when I saw something that wasn’t right, I didn’t always feel helpless and I could call her attention so they could fix it.” – Chariza, married in 2016

6. Focus on the sacrament and the spouse


This is what truly matters. Photo by Mayad Studios

When worse comes to worst, there’s still a surefire way to keep hold of your inner bridezilla: keep your eyes on your future spouse!  Remember that today is not just a wedding but a marriage of two individuals so that they will, from this day forward, become one.

“Let go of the wedding details. Where will you turn your gaze instead? On the person you will marry. Focus on him.” – Kristine, married

“3S’s: Focus on Sacrament, Leave it to Suppliers, and count on your Supporters (friends and family who’ll do everything to make your day perfect).” – Kirby, married

“Do not think that if one thing fails, you will not get your fairytale ending.  Every wedding has its own God-given story.  Your wedding will always be great because what matters most is the sacrament, you as a couple, and the people present to witness that day. People won’t care if the tablecloth doesn’t match with the chair ribbons!” – Chelo, married

Remember, it’s your party so you can cry if you want to.  But then you might mess up your mascara. So de-stress instead!  We hope that following these tried and tested tips from real-life brides will help you banish your bridezilla blues!

Got any more advice for our future brides? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section below.

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  • Richard Anthony Baldoza

    The title is so funny and eye catching! Bridezillas ftw! For me, being comfortable should always be the first priority. I have never believed in “Tiis Ganda” or being uncomfortable to look gorgeous. It says a lot about the person when they can handle stress and problems, especially on their wedding day. Amazing photos as always. I really enjoy reading your posts.

  • Miera Nadhirah Rashidi

    Great post… how sweet and what great tips there is..I have to admit that getting married, planning for it can be pretty stressful and we should kno whow to control our temper and enjoy our special once in a lifetime day the best we can…

  • I’ve never been married but I have had friends who are and it does seem like such a stressful thing to organise. There are so many things to do and think about I can understand why brides get stressed. I think hiring a wedding planner is great idea. It would take a lot of the pressure off and allow the bride to enjoy the day.

  • Sam

    This is a great, realistic guide. Bridezillas must be really real! Lots of people just idealize weddings, but really, it’s tough work. Getting wedding planners is a must, but some brides can’t help getting involved which is good, if you balance it out. At the end of the day, it should be more than the celebrations, but the commitment.

  • Carola K

    I can totally imagine it gives a lot of stress to organise a wedding. Of course you want it to be perfect. But also unexpected things happen. And you want everyone to have fun. And have everything you’ve always thought about. A wedding planner is great tip I think. Then you’re not responsible for everything yourself. But there’s someone to help out. I love the quote “Don’t think too much on your big day”. I believe that is totally true. Don’t overthink. Have fun and enjoy!

  • Laveena Sengar

    I can totally understand. My best friend is getting married and I know how excited and pretty she looks in every occasion. It’s true, bride is the most beautiful person in the room. So true. Wedding planner is very important.

  • Nina Sogue

    I agree with the points above! This applies not only to weddings, but also to other events as well. Sometimes, we’re to obsessed with how we want the event to happen that we get really annoyed with the little changes or hiccups. Focusing on the main point of the celebration is one way to still appreciate it, despite a little difference from the original plan.

    Nina Sogue |

  • Pia Dysangco Villamor

    I got married 3 years ago – I was totally chill until the last month and then I started breaking into hives and getting all freaky emo. I completely agree with all the tips that you gave. I think my wedding fiascos started when I didn’t get a good planner, so yes, this is very important. Also, I spent a good portion of time obsessing about the little details – only to realise that you actually don’t notice them on your wedding day. Could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I just let these minor things go. 🙂 Proud to say that I did tips 3-6 though. And you’re right- wearing comfy shoes (or in my case, flip-flops), relaxing with friends, communicating with your spouse and focusing on the sacrament made things easier and put things in perspective. 🙂

  • Yan

    I love you put it, you rarely get married so you’re surely not an expert. Leave it to the wedding coordinators! Though I must admit, I’ll probably turn into a bridezilla when it’s my turn to get wed, the pressure to make everything perfect and memorable can drive any bride-to-be crazy!

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  • Klaudias Corner

    I so love your website ! You are doing such an amazing job , your images are truly outstanding. I am “living in sin” LOL for over 30 years with my dear man , still not married as I always thought it won’t make a difference to get some documents …. visiting your website and looking at your excellent posts could really make me think about again 🙂

  • Cyka niki

    I like the word you use Bridezillas, yes there’s a lot of factors that can cause stress to brides or brides to be especially on preparation mode, I was the wedding coordinator of my own wedding, funny but, yes , I was so blessed to have a team whose willing to do the task that I gave them and it’s not really a rush preparation because we had a lot of time. It’s really good to have someone whom you can trust on small and big things.

  • So far so Sabine

    Every body knows that the bride is the most beautiful person in the room. Hell yeah! haha. When I got married just two months about, I was the most beautiful person haha. It was so nice. Yes don’t let small things make you a bridezilla because it’s really not helping. It will only give you extra stress. Stay calm and the wedding will be just fine. xo Sabine

  • Peng Desuyo

    Great list, you really can’t control everything so it is pointless to stress over the small stuffs. I haven’t actually met a real-life Bridezilla, thank goodness! But I bet there are a lot out there

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